2017 Political Predictions

January-February: Theresa May specifies brexit’s exact shades of red, white and blue.
Early March: Under pressure for more details, Theresa May starts to describe brexit in terms of feel, smell and taste.
Late March: Theresa May decides on a theme tune.
April: Government announces it needs more time
May: Right wing of the Tory party starts getting rowdy
June: An increasingly pressured Theresa May announces it’ll be a pure, hard brexit and submits A50. Liberal Tories aghast. Mass cabinet resignations, including Philip Hammond.
July: Large internationals announce they have begun to move UK jobs to mainland Europe.
[some details missing]
November: Boris Johnson becomes prime minister, calls immediate general election, trounces Labour. Announces intention to rescind A50 as everyone agrees it’s a bit of a silly idea after all.
December: Keir Starmer becomes leader of the opposition.

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