So, as of Monday I’ll have been working in my current job for a year.
I seem to have been ‘promoted’ from regular programmer to lead programmer to a sort of hybrid manager (I say ‘promoted’ because I don’t earn any more, no, of course not).
This seems to have naturally happened because:
1. The real manager left, and
2. I always kept abreast of the (rapidly changing, confusing, complicated) requirements, which apparently nobody else did. Or at least, I did a better job of giving the illusion that I understood them.
One programmer is very good. He’s smart and he writes short amounts of code to solve the problem he’s been told to look at. The other one is difficult.
I don’t mind the responsibility. I like giving direction. But it seems like as well as understanding the work I’m doing, I also have to understand the work everyone else is doing. I feel like I spend a lot of time doing very little to allow other people to do things.
I also feel like my mind is changing. And my body. A bit. I’ll spare you the physical details. I feel like I have more motivation and more ambition than I used to. I feel like I have spent the last 15 years of my life coasting with little ambition to do anything because, strangely enough, I was able to find contentment in very little. There’s an odd juxtaposition in there somewhere; learning to find happiness in little is something we should all strive for, but the logical conclusion is apathy, which isn’t obviously desirable. But the flipside is that I find myself frustrated because I have never really learned how to get things I want. Because I didn’t want anything. I am trying to make a difference. Gradually. Small steps.
I wonder if all the exercise has kick-started some hormone production.