Lower those eyebrows

One of the more eyebrow raising effects of summertime SAD, the affliction by which I appear to be afflicted, is an increase in sex drive. At least, according to the few sources online I can find about it. Wikipedia claims it’s actually a reduction in sex drive, but cites a source which says increase. I can vouch for the “increase” team.

It’s a very peculiar experience. It’s not dissimilar to being a teenager again; it must trigger the same sorts of hormonal ups and downs. I have a markedly higher sex drive, emotional instability, insecurity, and even some spots! The spots I can live with, but the other things mixed together are not a good combination. They tend to stray into each other’s territory.

Now I feel like I have such a weird relationship with sex. I don’t know if I used to. I don’t know if it’s just a temporary thing. The problem with these mood issues is they lie to you. They convince you that this is yourself; that you have always been exactly like this and that you always will be. I’m pretty sure I was quite happy in March and April, although I don’t quite remember the details. Now I have a high sex drive that is telling me to do things to which the emotional part of me is saying “oh no you can’t do that! Have you no self respect?!” while the insecurity bit is helpfully observing that I’ll never find anyone to do it with anyway. And that’s without even considering the issues of intimacy and opening myself up [no you don’t] to another person. Which is a whole different kettle of pandora’s fish.

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