The gastro appointment was not very insightful but I’ve now definitely in the queue for an endoscopy and an MRI. I’m not sure what the MRI might show. Apparently both of these should happen in the next four weeks and I should be getting a letter in the next couple of days.
I’ve not lost any more blood since about three weeks ago. Running is going reasonably well and I’m back to where I was when all this started. I’m thinking of adding in an extra run per week starting next week to prepare for the half marathon training which will hopefully be commencing next month. I’m generally feeling OK, maybe a bit tired… But I think I’m still losing weight slowly, which isn’t good.
I actually went to the appointment after work one day after meeting my mum, who has been worried sick about me and wanted to come along. Recently I have more often than not been leaving work and walking to the station with a certain lady who we’ll call E. It just so happened that mum and E very briefly met.
In the waiting room at the hospital mum admitted that I’ve looked ill at times (which she’d not told me before). I said “you’re not the only person to have noticed that…” and left it at that, expecting a follow-up question, but as we were waiting for a taxi later she said “it was E, wasn’t it?”. I’ve since heard such phrases as “you didn’t tell me that… but I bet you told E didn’t you?”, “it sounds like E knows more than I do!”, and even the big question: “is it like having a second mother?”. But I think she’s also quite relieved to know there’s a responsible adult at work who seems to be keeping an eye on me in the event that I do happen to keel over.
Of course I find all this hilarious so I’ve relayed it to E, who finds it slightly less funny because she also feels like she’s being judged by my mother. It’s made funnier by the fact she predicted this exact situation. E and I seemed to get closer shortly after I first told her about my possible health issues. She realised one day that I was feeling ill and fussed over me a bit. Apparently I looked very pale, which certainly matched how I was feeling. Before that I was feeling sometimes she was a bit short with me, but afterwards, for whatever reason, it seemed like we suddenly became a lot more comfortable with each other. She was fussing a little bit and I said “now you’re sounding like my mum” and she got excited and said “well, I’ll be your work-mum!” while giggling. I said “I’m not sure how she’d take that” and E speculated that she’d probably be a bit upset but also reassured someone was looking out for me. Of course, E is actually closer to my age than my mother’s, but let’s not let that get in the way of things.
So… back on the E topic, I’ve tried twice now to make her a cup of tea.
We don’t have a culture of making each other drinks in our office, which I think is a good thing because it gives me an excuse to get up and wander around more often. E and I have an ongoing disagreement over whether it’s OK to pour the milk in before removing the bag (she thinks yes, I think no). Apparently I’ve made a big thing over this. Occasionally we are in there together and she starts laughing as soon as she pours her milk as she thinks I’m silently (or not so silently) judging her.
She accidentally poured me a cup using her method a few weeks ago (my cup was in the kitchen, next to hers) and she couldn’t stop giggling when she realised what she’d done. So last week I walked into the kitchen, her mug was in there, the kettle had just boiled and I saw my chance… unfortunately she got distracted and never returned, so it just sat there, which is a shame, because I was really looking forward to seeing her coming down the corridor holding it and looking utterly confused. This morning she came in while I was in there, put her mug down, went off to the toilet and again I saw my chance… I realised I should have checked before she left the room, but I know she usually switches from coffee to tea around mid morning, she’s told me several times she prefers tea to coffee, she told me yesterday “I don’t know why I drink coffee here, I don’t drink it at home”, I knew that she’d already bought a big coffee first thing, I knew she’d made herself a cup of instant after that, and it was only 11 o clock by this time, so I thought “no, I’m safe, she won’t want more coffee…”. Then she came back and it turns out she wanted more coffee. She’d been a bit irritable and was getting snappy with the person who sits next to me, so, frankly, I thought she’d had enough coffee for one morning anyway. She seemed to have mixed feelings of being flattered I’d made a cup of tea for her and, well, being annoyed I’d made a cup of tea for her, so she begrudgingly accepted it at the time. She did say thank you in the afternoon though (when she was making ANOTHER cup of coffee).
But I’m going to keep trying. One day I will make her a cup of tea and she will want to drink it. It’s a small thing but I don’t really know how I feel that we have one woman in the office full time and she’s expected to make drinks for the boss and huge rounds of drinks for visitors and do the washing up… or rather, I do know how I feel and it seems a little bit antiquated. There’s no hierarchy between us and therefore no expectation or obligation so it’s good if I can do it for her occasionally.
In some ways she’s not as exciting as she was but she’s still fun to be around, so I’m still drawn to her I suppose.